After being at this for about two weeks here are some of the joys of being a grad student/assistant:
- attending countless meetings/orientations only to come out as unclear as when you went in
- being scared to death of how hard grad school is going to be
- thinking for a brief moment in week one that it's not really going to be that bad
- realizing two weeks in grad school really IS going to be hardest things in the world
- questioning on a daily basis your decision to go to grad school
- sitting in class feeling completely lost listening to second years talk
- realizing that everyone sitting around you is probably feeling the same way
- feeling like you finally have a really good point to share then the teacher calls on you and your whole train of thought disappears
- being completely mentally exhausted
- spending a whole afternoon trying to sum up a whole book of history into two pages (it sounds like an easy task until you have to do it)
- realizing that for the next two years I will be spending my weekends reading
- coffee is essential
- coming to the realization that every other grad student in the world has probably had every thought/feeling that I am
- getting paid to sit in a cubicle and study
- realizing the only way you're going to get through it all is by taking it one day at a time and relying on the Lord for strength
- knowing that this is exactly where God wants me, even if it's hard
The greatest joy I've experienced is the comfort, faithfulness, rest and strength I find in my Jesus. Above all else, I am learning to truly rest in the Lord and find my strength in Him. One thing I am finding VERY quickly is that I physically can not do this without the Lord. I am weak, I get tired, I loose focus, I get frustrated, I get overwhelmed. "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
