As with any new adventure there are lots of crazy emotions swirling around in my head. I am excited, nervous, hopeful, unsure, expectant, and I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little scared. But in the past few weeks God has been so faithful in reminding me that he is right by my side. I recently read Kisses for Katie (a phenomenal book, read it!) a book about one girl's journey to living in complete dependence on Christ as a missionary.. Katie took a gap year following high school to work as a missionary in Uganda and has lived there ever since.. In that first year she explains how she fell more and more in love with the people, with the country and with God's heart for these people. She lived and worked among the poor, the orphaned, the abused, the lowest of the low, the poorest of the poor. She didn't know from day to day what she could expect, from having electricity to providing food and education for hundreds of village children things never ran according to plan. Among the hardships, the joys and the day to day uncertainty one thing remained constant: God's provision. He knew Katie's needs in every situation she found herself in, from adopting 14 little girls on her own to serving her community in Uganda. Because of the uncertainty day to day life brought with it, Katie depended on God to meet her needs. And he did, every single time! God provided.
This seems like such an obvious and simple lesson. Of course my all knowing, perfect, loving God is going to provide for me. My whole life I've heard things like, God is with you, He never leaves you, He is always faithful, he will provide. All these things are true, they are so true. I know them. I believe that these are characteristics of my perfect loving Heavenly Father. Even beyond that He has proven faithful in my life time and time again. But in my fickle humanity I quickly turn to my flesh or other people to provide for me before I even think to turn my requests to the Lord. He so longingly desires for me to pour out my requests, my concerns, my anxieties, my uncertainties at his feet so he can prove his never failing love and true faithfulness. What a sweet, sweet truth. He is as much with Katie in Uganda as she fulfills his purpose there as He is right now in this moment with me as I get things together to move. He is WITH me! And as if that is not enough, He goes before me. He knew long before I even applied to grad school what my load would be like, what classes I would take, what job I would have, and what friends I would make. I believe he has a plan and purpose even if to me it looks overwhelming. He will make a way. I am choosing dependence. Because I know he will provide.
These are just some thoughts I've been pondering the past dew days and I hope it came out making some kind of sense. I also hope this is an encouragement to you to. Know, believe and live as if God is always on your side. Because he is. He goes before and stands behind. He is ever faithful and never breaks his promises. He is good. He is with you.
It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. - Exodus 31:8
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